Monday Funny

I love this one…

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other “I’ll man the guns, you drive”

Monday Funny

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

Monday Funny

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.

He was pulled in by a strong currant.

Monday Funny

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf.

He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

Monday Funny

A Definition…

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullsh#t before

Monday Funny

Nerd joke alert…

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

Monday Funny

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.

The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

Monday Funny

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Dolly.

“It’s true, no bull!”

Monday Funny

“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home’.
“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“It’s not unusual.”

Monday Funny

Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.
Doc says “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”