A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
“A beer please, and one for the road.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted.

Well, it was back to work today after the summer break. I need something funny to pick me up now.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says “dam”