Whacky Wednesday: The Engineer And The Manager

I am bringing this back this joke again because it is required. Deal with it.

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.

“The man below says, “You must be a manager.”

“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”

Whacky Wednesday: A Bad/Dad Joke

OK, I stole this one from Dad Jokes on Facebook.

I always keep an empty milk carton in the fridge, just in case anyone wants black coffee.

Call Of Duty – Modern Warfare 4

Check out this first glimpse of Call Of Duty – Modern Warfare 4 dubbed ‘Plastic Ops’….

Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 4 MW4 Pre-release image

Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 4 MW4 Pre-release image

 Just kidding!

I made this little mock-up as part of a Christmas present for someone who wanted Call of Duty MW3. I put the game is the bottom of a larger box and filled it with packing peanuts. This was in the box at the top so it was the first things the gift receiver saw when opening the present. I guess I could have timed this better and gotten these pics out of April 1st, but time got away from me.

For the record, I have never played any COD games nor do I have any interest in playing any COD games. I may be a nerd, but I am not that kind of nerd. Maybe that means I am not such a nerd….or not.

Monday Funny

I love this one…

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other “I’ll man the guns, you drive”

Monday Funny

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

Monday Funny

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.

He was pulled in by a strong currant.

Monday Funny

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf.

He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

Monday Funny

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ”

“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him”

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because he’s really heavy”

Monday Funny

A Definition…

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullsh#t before

Monday Funny

Nerd joke alert…

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”