Quick…break glass in case of emergency…

I was pointed in the direction of 27b/6 by the boss (the one from home, not work) and the very first post I read cracked me up. Then I read a few more and I was in hysterics. There are quite a few to get through, so this should keep me going for a few weeks. Let me know which is your favorite.

I love this one…

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other “I’ll man the guns, you drive”

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.

He was pulled in by a strong currant.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf.

He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ”

“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him”

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because he’s really heavy”

A Definition…

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullsh#t before

Nerd joke alert…

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.

The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Dolly.

“It’s true, no bull!”