Olympic Oath For Spectators

With the Olympics starting once again I realised that, despite my attempts otherwise, I will probably be glued to the TV for the next two weeks watching sports I wouldn’t normally care about for the other 1445 days in every four years. I realise that for the athletes and officials take the Olympic Oath, but what about those that are the real reason the Olympics exist, the spectators (or is the real reason the Olympics exist the sponsors?). For that reason, I have compiled an Olympic Oath for those of us that consider couch riding an official Olympic event.

In the name of all the spectators, I promise I shall watch these Olympic Games into the wee hours of the morning without knowing the rules which govern them but with the assistance of recreational chemicals should I see fit, and in true one eyed fashion, I will yell at my TV when my countryman is apparently done wrong by an official, and revel in the glory and honour of our teams since my fat butt has no chance of ever being part of one.

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