The Dirty Underwear Dilemma

Once again it has been a while since I have been here. Good thing I don’t have any fans.

I have been left at home alone for the week to fend for myself whilst the chef/housekeeper/dog walker/drink wench/entertainment has taken the child to Cairns for BMX nationals. Now this has left me with a dilemma when I looked in my underwear drawer this morning. I currently appear to have 5 days worth of underwear to last 9 days.

So I brainstormed up a few potential solutions and threw together an options matrix (sorry, no 5-phase on this one 😉 ).If you are having trouble reading the options matrix, click here to see a larger version. My ‘Big-3’ metrics on this issue are;

  • Cost – what will the impact be to my bank account considering the potential nett upside/downside
  • Time – how much time could be lost or saved
  • Quality – will the result have a potential positive or negative outcome

My assessment is based on a basic red/yellow/green status being applied to the options based on my own judgement. For those that don’t grasp the R/Y/G status, red means I judge the option as being poor for achieving the metric, green is good and yellow is in the middle somewhere.  If you don’t agree with the R/Y/G status applied or the comments I have made for the option vs. the metric, feel free to make a comment on this post below.

I now ask you, the public, to assist in determining the best course of action going forward. Please review the options matrix below and select the best option in the poll. And do it quickly or you may encounter me later in the week having chosen a weak option of my own volition.

The Dirty Underwear Dilemma
Options Matrix


#1 Adam Bills on 04.24.11 at 2:44 pm

In with the dishes mate. Has worked a treat for me in the past. Also, you have left out an option… Wear each of the undies you have in the draw for 2days. Wearing jocks for 2days has been validated by yours truly. You could even stretch it out to 3 days if necessary, although flies tender to start gathering at this point. Your a man though so you should be fine.

#2 Rafx Hamilton on 04.24.11 at 3:48 pm

you have far too much unproductive time on your hands Corey Gibson if you can spend so much of it making up the matrix and script to go with it. Time is money, so you could have spent that time either making money to buy new undies or alternatively learning to use the washing machine to save the purchase cost of new undies. either way is a far more cost effective solution to your dilemma.

#3 Glenn on 04.24.11 at 6:08 pm

Go Steal Cindies underwear.

#4 Burns on 04.24.11 at 6:09 pm

Personally-I would go underwear free for three days.A tight fitting short skirt may suit you….

#5 inlina on 04.24.11 at 7:52 pm

@ Burns If I come to work singing “And I’m freeee, freeballin'” (sung to Tom Petty’s “Free Falling” of course) then you will know what is up, or down as the case may be.

@Rafx After almost 10 years at that company I work for I have learned I cannot make my own decisions. I must consult those who will be impacted plus management.

@Glenn With no declaration of war a panty raid cannot be undertaken under the Geneva Convention. Plus I doubt that would fit.

#6 RJS on 04.24.11 at 8:50 pm

Too much free time Corey! I think you’ve overstated all of the values for learning to use the machine. Obviously you’re leaning away from that option. That being the case, buy some more – or freeballin in a short skirt.

#7 daniel on 04.25.11 at 7:30 pm

BJ, its easy get married and you will be taught how to do all these things. It will be your job going forward.

Other than that I have one other idea, Glad wrap fits any size, water tight in case you laugh too much. On another note use foil, its winter and the sparks when your legs rub together wont start a ‘bush fire’. Lucky u had that wax. The other advantage of foil is you cant see thru it. We dont want to see a squashed frog in your short skirt.

Thats it for ideas — long weekend

Good luck!

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